Vinaigrettes: Shaken, Stirred, And Grasping At Light Fixtures

Me: You are going to need to use some of this time to learn to adult. Mary: I can totally adult. Me: You broke the dishwasher three times. Mary: Pshaw. Me: You used it unsupervised … Exactly. Three. Times. Mary: Adding dish soap is not breaking it. Me: Fine. You broke the dishwasher twice, and … Read more

Hello, Doctor, Name, Continue, Yesterday, Tomorrow

First, I am going to resolve one of the great crises of faith facing our nation during this time, and I am going to do it by stating a simple, obvious truth: She totally fed her husband to the tigers.  My grandparents picked up arms to defend this country; I picked up the remote control … Read more